The invasion has begun.

Reuters: Bozeman, Thursday April 12, 3:40PM 2007

Fear those little rodents

The office of National Forests and the US department of health and human services, released an astonishing report this morning in Washington (7:45 AM GMT-5). In front of the congress and US Military officials, Dr. Trudman head of the Genetic Contamination Committee (GCC) made terrible revelations.

On the 2^nd of March 2003 in Idaho Falls (ID, USA), the Foundation for Animal Research and Trans-genetics lost a couple of Cynomys parvidens strikeanus from the laboratory 106-2B.
The scientific in charge of the "Animal Optimization" department, Dr McMourning, reports on these events.

Dr McMourning : "I was really wasted that night, I had a gallon of Moose Drool beer and half a bottle of tequila with Fernando my assistant. Actually it was quite a regular evening, we researchers are having fun torturing animals and getting trashed. Obviously I was working on a couple of these new Cynomys parvidens strikeanus guys and I forgot to lock them in their cage. Really these spirits company are to blame. It isn't written on their bottles that it makes you do a shitty job. However when I saw these little fuckers escaping I grabbed the lab's emergency shotgun. I missed them, but I eventually killed Fernando. I'll have another bottle of that damn good stuff in his loving memory."

While the democrats ask for the return of the prohibition, scientists are deeply concerned by the impact of this brand new flavor of prairie dogs to the environment. This for several reasons.

First: The new prairie dogs have 7 rut cycles per year and a female can bear up to 10 which means during these four years, the first female have probably already had around 250 babies. A CPS (Cynomys parvidens strikeanus) arrives to sexual maturity at only 3 month old. You understand the growth of this new specie is exponential, uncountable and probably already near the million individuals.

Second: The babies, even if they are very cute (Dr McMourning's team says), have a very bad energy consumption ratio. They need to be fed about 5 times their own weight every day, and they eat any kind of grass. They are responsible for an incredible ecologic devastation in US western plains.

These pictures shows from right to left, a satellite view of the USA in february 2003, today and on the left the expected result of uncontrolled breed in 2010.

Third (and the worse): Sometimes these creatures are "confused" about where is their natural habitat.
(the end of the article tomorrow)

Edit (June 6th): I promised the end of that article a month and a half ago, but since then I've been escaping a prairie dog state conspiracy and I can't find time yet to write the end.

Thanks for reading Montana Clem, not supported by ads, getting the news first.

-Clem